? to Ponder #2

There's a saying, "___ is as soft as a baby's bottom."

Really? Seriously? I have concerns about this:

1. Who are these people blatantly groping baby's butts? 2. Why are they groping the ass of a poor, defenseless baby? 3. Is there a chart? A Richter Scale-type apparatus used to measure the "softness" of a given baby's ass? What is the "official" name of said scale ("The Bass" - "The Baby's Ass Softness Scale")? 5. Is the scale liner? 6. Does it have a standard deviation? 7. Who certifies this scale? 8. Should we be prosecuting these people who apparently go around groping a bare ass of a baby for pedophilia? For sexual harassment? For assault? Should they get jail time? A fine of some consequence? Both?

Just a few questions I recently pondered.

Is that a Seinfeldian moment or what?